For I know the plans I have for
you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
(Jer 29:11 NIV)
How
Being Put On The Side Lines Has Set Me Free
The title of this
article is a line from the Temptations’ classic song ‘My Girl’. We
often do this song during practice as ‘My God’. I think we originally
heard it on a One-Way Street puppet song CD. It was so much fun we had
to try it. Not sure why we have never played it for the congregation.
The point is the line reminds me of the silver linings that we often
find on what we think are bad things in our lives.
I have never written about it in any of my articles before, but make an
exception here because it is part of the story. I am the guitar player
in our group. I am also a person of limited mobility. I walk with a
cane. On long outings I ride an electric scooter. Recently I was
hoisting my scooter into the back of my car when the lift collapsed. I
was standing behind the car holding on to the lift. When it came
crashing down, so did I. Three hours later we were leaving the
emergency room with my arm in a sling. There would be no guitar playing
for me for a little while.
Our trumpet player told me her first thought on hearing the news was,
“Oh no! Now what will we do?” Then she correctly realized God would
take care of us just as he has always done. In another of my articles I
wrote about the crises of faith that occurs when you must decide to
trust the Lord or go it in your own strength. Trusting is always the
better choice.
What happened the first couple weeks is the piano led the songs. Much
like was always done in our previously all-traditional services. Some
of the songs had to be dropped, as the pianist wasn’t familiar enough
with the songs to lead them. Still the music was done well and people
did participate. Danny, who is an amazing professional musician, was
being stretched as he had always followed along with my arrangements.
Surprisingly, he was apprehensive with the idea of being lead
instrument at first but he stepped up and is doing a great job.
The biggest difference was I was now sitting in the pew. It was
inspirational to watch from this perspective. In front of me sat a man
who last year at the age of 80 gave his heart to the Lord. He was
joyfully singing ‘Lord I Lift Your Name On High’. Now you may say,
“That song is as old as the hills!” Our church didn’t know it a decade
ago and the man in front of me didn’t know it two years ago.
I watched as people willingly sang those new fangled songs on the wall
without the music, many of them clapping along. Some had hands in the
air. OK, many of them held them timidly close in front of themselves
but they were raised. No one asked them to do it. Now this doesn’t mean
a lot in itself, but I know these people. They are engaging in worship.
A decade ago that was not necessarily the majority experience in this
little church. Like the church in Ephesus we were going through the
motions, doing great things but we as a body had in effect lost our
first love. It was about churchy obligations and things. Now the people
seem focused properly on the author of our salvation.
Our bass player was out of town with his job the first couple weeks I
was unable to play. When he made it back to practice he made the switch
to his Les Paul guitar. He would now share lead instrument obligations
with Danny. The piano would carry the bass line on most songs. Scott
left his options open to switch off when the piano could carry the song
better than he could lead on guitar. Scott is a lot better player than
I, but like me before joining the praise band he had never played in
front of people. This was going to stretch him to produce even more
fruit.
We have the strongest vocals at the moment that we have ever had. They
blend and harmonize beautifully, and can throw in the background and
accent parts that make a song interesting. Most of this ability came
when Ellen joined the group. The others have learned how to listen to
her and have grown as vocalists. Rick has recently learned to relax and
be himself. The fun guy who during practice speaks to the imaginary
congregation is now the fun guy drawing a real congregation of
worshippers nearer the throne of grace. Add in the piano, guitar,
drums, and trumpet, and it makes for an incredible blessing as a tool
to worship and lift up Jesus.
The reason I am writing this is two-fold, I want to share my joy, and
share what I have learned. The interesting thing, to me, is the two are
intertwined. When we started over a decade ago, we knew nothing and
honestly we weren’t very good. Our hearts were right and we were
willing so the Lord took pity, I mean, He took us and began to use us.
Every step of the way, he went before us and prepared the way. He
assured us the transitional pain would be worth it. Even through the
dark nights when we felt abandoned and alone, He was there at work in
our midst. It is sometimes hard to see how far He has brought us. I
guess that is why I can find peace in being taken out of the ministry
for a while. I get to step back and see how far we have traveled.
I was concerned that I would not be able to sit in the pew and enjoy
the worship time without playing guitar. I didn’t want to believe I was
that shallow or that I might have lost my first love, having replaced
it with ministry, instead of focusing on the one I love. That would
have been the ultimate irony, I think, trying to help restore a church
to its first love only to loose mine. Still that concern was there.
Thank you Jesus, it was not the case. In fact I have been energized by
the experience. I find myself being very thankful to have even been a
part of this journey. What an experience!
What I learned first is the humbling reality that all of us can be
replaced. The world doesn’t revolve around us. A healthy praise band
does not revolve around one person. If it does something is wrong. I
know I am not a great guitarist. I am pretty basic. Yet practice seemed
to always get cancelled if I couldn’t make it. Now I know, and just as
importantly they know, life and ministry go on without my guitar and me.
Another thing I learned is I have been carrying around a burden that is
not mine to carry. During the transition, we had a very nasty worship
war. It shouldn’t have happened but it did. The problem is I took part
of the blame on myself. From the beginning the praise band was never
about being cool, or getting our way. We began it at the Lord’s
leading. It was His plan. We were responsible for being obedient. The
war resulted when some chose their will over the Lord’s. That is NOT my
fault. That is a big discovery to me, no matter how obvious it is to
you. I can now take a deep breath and relax. Ahh, that feels refreshing.
When my arm heals, if I am returned to playing guitar as I hope to be
the case, I will thoroughly enjoy it. If instead it turns out my time
is done with the praise band, I can walk away knowing I was obedient,
and being thankful for the experience. No matter what, I know God has
plans for me. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. For the first time
in a decade I am free.
